my boyfriend's friends probably think i'm a dominatrix

Hi. Let me start out by saying if you're my mother, grandmother, or anyone who sees me once a year, think again whether or not you really want to read this.

Alrighty then.

It's really not THAT bad, but I have a lot of what I call "Welcome to my life" moments. I'm almost done with the long, labor-intensive, muscle cramp-inducing move out of my apartment into my dear, loving, and patient boyfriend’s house a whopping 8 miles away.  Between the two of us, we’re purging enough furniture to furnish a whole other house.  I’ve managed to get most of my crap boxed up and most of it has bypassed the trunk of the car and gone straight into the garbage, lest I actually have to transfer it and unpack it all.  So anyway, I was at work yesterday and Scot (the boyfriend) and two of his friends took a truck over to the old apartment to pack up my mattress and a bookshelf.  They moved the bed out and underneath found this:

Wait, I can explain.

 This particular item was acquired in what we call a “Pirate Christmas” or “White Elephant” gift exchange.  God knows how long ago.  Years.  Anyway, I’m out at the airport and get a text with the above photo and nothing else.  No question, no comment, no nothing.  After I finished laughing and wiped the tears out of my eyes (the mental image of him discovering this supposedly hidden side of me in front of the guys left me in stitches), I explained the game’s origins.  Yes, I opened it at one point and hot damn if it didn’t look way to freaking complicated.  Last thing I’d want to do is have to pause and read the instructions again, right?  I don’t think I can keep 1,000, uh, games(?) straight.  Pass.  Under the bed it went until Indiana Freaking Jones and his crew discovered it. 

(By the way, this particular item did NOT go in the trash- someone’s getting it for Christmas, I just don’t know who yet.  Don’t worry mom, it’s not you.  I’m impressed if you made it down this far!)

Anyway folks, this was Episode 1.  More background info next time, see you then.