Friday, February 8, 2013

i blame bobby flay if my ass gets huge

Oh, Food Network, how I love thee and hate thee at the same time!

It's Chocolate Week, if you haven't heard (the foodie equivalent of Shark Week on Discovery Channel).  Most of the shows are centered around my second drug of choice (You know my first.  Oh you don't?  Uh, what blog are you reading, again?)  Anyway, my man Bobby has this show "Throwdown With Bobby Flay" where he challenges cooks who are really good at cooking pretty much just one thing, to see who can win over tasters more.  Tonight, it was 2 women making huge-ass 5 ounce chocolate chip walnut cookies vs Bobby and his thin and crispy chocolate chip cookies.  It all looked good, my mouth was watering, I was annoyed because Scot had eaten the last of the bag of Hershey's chocolate chips I'd hidden behind the flour jar on the counter (note to self, find a better hiding spot), and I was really craving dessert.  Alls I had for dinner was some leftover Velveeta shells and cheese and a slice of peanut buttered bread and I needed something sweet to tell the tastebuds "Aight, that's enough, eatin' time's over."  

I'd seen a recipe online before for a 2-cookie chocolate chip cookie recipe.  Like, that's all it makes, a perfect portion.  So I found one and decided to double it because I never eat JUST 2 cookies.  Well ya'll, doubling this recipe made 6 of the biggest damn cookies I'd ever seen in my life.  I couldn't imagine eating 2 of the regular recipe, holy crap!  Take a look...

(Imagine the following in Paula Deen's voice)  
That is a reg-u-lay-tion- size cooling rack, ya'll.  
Butter.
Mayn-aise
Ooooo don't that look goooooood son!

Ahem.

(Again, Food Network, you haunt my dreams!)

But for realz, yo, look at the size of those cookies!  I admit by the time I took the pic I'd, uh, eaten one already, but you can see the normal-sized bite I took out of the right one there.  I only ate 2, and that was a struggle but hoo boy they were delicious!  Stick with the regular recipe, which I have provided below, for the perfect couple servings of normal-sized cookies.  

Makes 2 of the biggest damn cookies you ever saw, or 4 or 5 normal-sized ones  
2 Tbsp butter
2 packed Tbsp brown sugar
1 Tbsp white sugar
pinch kosher salt
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg yolk
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup flour
3 Tbsp chocolate chips (I cut up Baker's squares, like I said, Scot at the chips)

Oven to 350
In a small glass bowl, melt butter til soft
Stir in sugars, salt, vanilla with a regular spoon
Add egg yolk and stir
Add baking soda and flour and stir
Add chips

Recipe says to make only 2 cookie dough balls and put them on the baking sheet lined with parchment.  I DARE you.  Then show me a picture of what they look like when they're done.  

I baked mine for about 12 minutes- make sure they're spread far apart because these things get HUGE.  Cool on a rack.  

Busy weekend ahead- it's time again for Mardi Gras so I've gotta get to cooking all my Louisiana food.  Which I haven't even remotely started shopping or prepping for yet.  Bought another bottle of Rose from World Market today so that should help with the impending stress ;)
Laissez les bon temps rouler!