confessions of a shop-a-phobic and other midnight ramblings

Hope everyone had a lovely holiday- I went home to Louisiana and it was cold as hell.

Relatively speaking of course... I've adapted to Florida quite well.  No one ever threw their back out shoveling sunshine, if you know what I mean.

Whenever I go back (lately it's been once a year) my mom always takes me shopping.  I think it's because I never give her a Christmas list.  We hit up the pre-Christmas sales and I think I almost had a mental breakdown in the dressing room of the Loft because I couldn't decide whether or not I liked a black and gray cardigan with the faintest of cheetah prints.  I wanted to like it (because, seriously who wouldn't??) but I think I literally sat behind that locked door for 15 minutes while my mom tried to convince me from the other side how cute it was and how she'd get it for me.  Reluctantly, I let her, knowing full well I wasn't happy with it.  Which is dumb because it was just a stupid cardigan.  Which makes me think there might be some underlying issues about myself that I can't pinpoint because I felt utterly depressed walking out of there with that little tissue-paper filled bag.

And then we went to the White House Black Market, where I never shop because I can't afford it and I live 6 days a week in khakis and polo shirts anyway.  Which is super lame but very practical.  Lord help me if I dripped oil or avgas on a $60 shirt.  JCPenney special all the way, baby!

I found my groove at WHBM and finally succumbed to the fact that half my closet is composed of black and white clothes and I should just quit trying and give up on color, period.  Let's just say that the little cheetah print cardigan is returning from whence it came.  My friend Sunnykef gave me some absolutely delicious earrings for Christmas too and I'm wearing them every chance I get.  Seriously, look at these things!  

I'd never pick them out for myself, but if they didn't weight about 3 lbs apiece I'd wear them to work out in, too.  And to work, if my headset would fit over them.  But any other time- bring it!  Housework?  Sure, these earrings make swiffering and cleaning the toilet much more fun!  (Actually, I don't clean the toilet, Scot does... but I'm not letting him wear my earrings.  I'd have to pierce his ears to do that and I hate blood and needles, and even if we did get that far I wouldn't be able to even laugh at him wearing them because I'd be passed the efff out on the bathroom floor.  Assuming the piercing takes place in the bathroom.  Normally I don't pass out on the bathroom floor for other circumstances.  Except last year's Mardi Gras party, but you'll have to check with him about that because I don't remember...good god MAKE ME STOP TALKING).

Anyway.

I'm damn lucky to have a guy who takes toilet duty.  AND cat litter box duty.  Heh heh.  Dooty.

Anyway.

I shouldn't blog in the middle of the night.

Now that my train of thought has left the station without me...I think what I was trying to say is that I got some kick-ass ear bling.  Alrighty then.  I also got 2 decorative wine stoppers, which must mean my family thinks I drink a lot.  I say, define "a lot!"  

Oh, that reminds me, I have a new found obsession with Rose (not, ROSE rose, but "Rose-AY"- like the sparkling wine?  I don't know how to type accents, sue me.)  I must purchase some for New Years, without the repeat of the consequences of downing a whole bottle of champagne (see "Christmas Party Oh-Twelve" aka, the post before this.)   It's probably a million dollars a bottle though- one glass cost me 12 bucks when Sunnykef and I went out over Christmas.  But it's bubbly and pink (one might call it rose-colored!) and delicious.  

Scot's stuck in Punta Gorda tonight being a hero and all and fixing an airplane so I'm getting in some quality time with you fine folks.  He got us annual passes to Walt Disney World for Christmas-which I am totally over the moon about, remember what I said about the end of the world last post?  Toldja.  But I'm super excited and am trying to decide to take him to Epcot first or MGM studios (Or Hollywood studios, whatever.  It'll always be MGM to me!)  I don't know if Tower of Terror is a good kickoff to his Disney indoctrination though.  We'll see.  

Have a fun and safe Happy New Year, and don't blow yourself up! (it's the new "Don't shoot your eye out," it'll catch on, wait and see)       

have yourself a tacky little christmas...

The other night I threw what was probably my most complex party yet-at least when it came to the variety of food.  My friend Jenn and I collaborated to host an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party and oh lord did our friends come up with some amazing creations!  

This year I was informed that when I go back to Louisiana for Christmas that it won't be the normal routine that I'm used to.  Usually, on Christmas eve, my aunt and uncle have a big party at their house and I get to visit with everyone and see all my cousins.  On Christmas day, everyone meets at my grandparents' house for turkey and dressing and opening presents.  It's been that way as long as I can remember but this year there's a shake-up.  2 of my out-of-town cousins aren't even coming in so the Christmas eve party?  Cancelled.  The turkey and dressing on Christmas day?  Exchanged for a brisket.  And the presents?  Now it's going to be (sort of a?) Pirate Gift Exchange thing.  Which reminds me I have to go find a $25 or under gift for a girl.  No one in particular, because we don't know who gets it.  Yeah, makes me really want to put thought in to this project (NOT!  Yeah, you hear the grumpy teenager in me coming out, too dontcha?)  Anyhoo, since my holiday is being turned topsy-turvey, (except the new tradition I started with Kelly last year- pre-church margaritas at Cantina Laredo.  Klassy, I know) I wanted to have as many friends as I could over for some good get-together time.  Here was my menu-

Deep-fried cajun turkey (god bless friends who own a bbq joint!)
Rolls and homemade cranberry sauce to make that turkey into mini sammiches
Succotash
Pepper Jack grits-stuffed sweet bell peppers
Spicy marinated shrimp
Sausage puffs (these are always a hit!)
Rotel dip
Homemade spinach artichoke dip
Homemade saltine oyster crackers (found the recipe on Pintrest and I don't care if I never eat anything else in my life- these were awesome!)
Fruit and veggie platters
Cherry bourbon pecan balls
Raspberry pound cake balls
A tri-color bundt cake in xmas colors (cute and simple!)
Red velvet peppermint swirl brownies
Key lime shortbread cookies
Nutella sea salt fudge (as delicious as it sounds!)
Homemade peanut brittle
Various little candies and pretzels I bought to spread around

I'm trying to remember it all- my friend Fedora ('memba her from the male stripper episode?) and I drank 2 bottles of champagne together ($5 a bottle Verdi Spumanti- it's delicious!!!)  

I almost feel like Christmas is over already...the party is done and I'm back to work.  The only thing reminding me is that we have presents under the tree (which my freaking cat will NOT stop eating.  Seriously, she's already ingested and re-deposited some curly ribbon in a slobbery mess on the bedroom floor).  A selection of my friends keep telling me there's a sparkly ring waiting for me under that tree, which I say is a load of crap lol.  Tell you what, the odds of that happening are the same as the odds of the world ending tomorrow (oh Mayans, ya'll and ya'll's silly calendar!) so hey if it does end no one will know what's under my tree anyway.  The plan Sunday is- presents, then brunch, then pack because we both have flights to catch...me to Louisiana and him to Pittsburgh.  I plan on gorging myself with crawfish etoufee and meat pies (and spell check just tried to change "crawfish" to "crayfish"...uh hellz no!) and hopefully fit in some visiting time with the few relatives that WILL be around town.  I leave you with a Merry Christmas if that's your thing (if it's not, Happy Thursday), and some sweater photos-   

  We dressed the cat up,and note the Christmas equivalent of the tuxedo shirt

 Me and Baby Bird- of course she did feathers!

Co-host Jenn and her hubby with his awesome homemade sweater

silence is golden, but so is snot

Isn't that a disgusting title?  Ok, snot's not (s'not?) exactly golden in color but you get the idea.  So, yeah I'm home sick (lost my voice and developed a co-dependent relationship with the box of Kleenex) and now I'm stuck hanging out with Rachel Ray and Kathie Lee and Hoda.  Which might make me feel worse, come to think about it...  Anyhoo, the extra time off of work gives me a chance to catch up on everything I've been putting off  liiiiiike...posting some fantabulous Hawaii pictures!

Scot took me to Waikiki as a surprise for my birthday this year- I did not realize where we were going til we got to the gate in our connecting city of Salt Lake.  He's devilishly good at keeping secrets!  We spent a week hanging at the beach, driving all over the island of O'ahu in our convertible, and indulging in water activities and culture.  It was an amazing trip and I highly recommend going, only make sure you budget twice what you normally would for food.  Everything was so expensive, holy crap rarely did we eat anywhere that didn't fall between $15-$20 a person, before drinks.  I've posted a few of my favorite pictures below-

Hawaii has the absolute BEST sunsets!!!

(Okay the people on The Today Show just started talking about Octomom.  If I don't get well soon I might go out back and drown myself in the pool.)

Oh, and I'm supposed to run the Turkey 5K in 2 days, and cook Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night.  If I'm still alive after that, I've got another update on deck.  Stay tuned.

tropical depression maggie

I'm pretty good at finishing any project I start.  Actually, I'm very good.  I'm so good that I get impatient if I can't do everything RIGHTNOW.  Waiting for paint to dry so I can move on the the next step is tedious.

Scot has been in Las Vegas again for work for the past 2.5 weeks and I got bored.  So I decided to redecorate.  Well, sort of.  I didn't have any ideas about what exactly I wanted to do, so I took his (very roomy when the seats are folded down) vehicle over to the Antique Store Of Fabulousness to browse.  I really don't remember what it was I had in mind that I was kinda-sorta looking for, but I found a nasty looking headboard in the back of a pile at the back of the store.  It was a yellow-y, multi-textured mix of fake wood, rattan, and bamboo and it was calling me desperately for help.  So I took it home and made it beautiful!  More on that in a second.

With ideas for my new headboard (which would find a new home in guest room #2) swirling around in my head, I sighed in sadness staring at the (America's Next Top Model reference coming up!) sheer drecktitude that was what we'd taken to calling "the Maggie Room" because it housed the random bits of furniture I brought with me when I moved in.  "The Maggie Room," at best, could be called the "Tropical Depression Room."  Old palm tree bedspread, random vintage-y tropical posters (which I heart very much), and a sad looking paper mache parrot my grandparents brought back from Acapulco like 20 years ago.  His name is Pablo and after I dusted him off and hung him back up we're both much happier.

I started off with the headboard and over the next week I'd replaced the bedspread, cleaned out the junk, and fashioned a curtain to hide the shelves of the "Random Bookshelf Of Shame" which held anything that I couldn't bear to part with but couldn't find a home for either.

Here's the run down for the headboard- The only place I had to paint it was if I leaned it against the rickety fence surrounding my garden.  Keeping careful not to spray paint my bell peppers, I covered it with a coat of primer, followed an hour or so later by several coats of shiny black paint.  It was simple and striking.  And for some weird reason the black paint dusted off right on my hands whenever I touched it the next evening.  I really don't know why this happened (if you know, please enlighten me) but I found a can of clear gloss enamel from when I did Chandy ('memba her???) so a couple coats of that sealed it up.  Because this is a sort-of surprise for Scot, I wanted to finish it up before he gets home tomorrow but there was no way in this lifetime I could (or wanted to bother with) attach the headboard to the frame by myself.  So I took some of the pavers we had left over from when the guys did the porch and stacked them behind the frame to sit the headboard on.  It's kind of precariously perched back there but since no one sleeps in that bed anyway I think it's okay.  BTW, consider yourself warned and if you come visit me you are responsible for telling me to tell Scot to put your bed together so you don't wind up with a concussion in the middle of the night.  I'm good at delegating like that, I just need a reminder.

Room Makeover:
Headboard: $35
Primer/Paint: $8
New Bedspread: $42
Fabric and tension rods for bookshelf: $9
TOTAL for NEW guest room: $94!  Not bad if I say so myself.  

Enjoy :)

TROPICAL DEPRESSION BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE- SHELVES OF SHAME

AFTER (I even painted the coral sculpture on top of the bookshelf red!)

BEFORE- WHAT IS THIS SPACE???

AFTER- OH IT'S AN OFFICE/GUEST ROOM!

this is Pablo

HEADBOARD BEFORE

HEADBOARD AFTER!

mirror mirror, in the driveway

Believe it or not, there's still a trace of a bruise on my leg from that stupid bike incident (scroll back and check the date...yeah, it's been that long.)  Anyway, I'll be off the bicycle for a couple weeks because Scot is out of town- out in Las Vegas for work in Airbus school- and I refuse to ride again unless he's available to come rescue me when I wipe out again.  The last time he was gone for this long, I took over the garage and rehabbed some furniture- a chair, a bench, and a magazine rack.  This time, I decided to tackle the oval standing mirror I bought at the antique shop a few months back.

I checked the ever-growing paint supply cabinet and was glad to see we had a couple cans of primer still hanging around.  I swung by Home Depot (also known as "Second- Home" Depot) for a can of glossy brown spray paint, hoping just 1 would get the job done.  I mean, there's not much to this mirror.

The trickiest part was covering the mirror  with tape and newspaper- I trimmed some paper into an oval shape and stuck blue painter's tape over every reflective part that was still showing.  I unscrewed the mirror from the base, got some newspaper on the driveway and went to work with the primer on Monday afternoon.

Do you know what happens in Florida in the afternoon?

Yeah, it rains.

No sooner had I finished priming, the skies opened up and armageddon hit.  I scrambled to heft up my pieces and get them back into the garage, fortunately the primer dried pretty fast so it wasn't much of a setback.  It poured down the rest of the day, into the night.  Thunder, lightning, it was ridiculous.  Not just any old afternoon storm, this lasted forever and the pool even started filling to the top.  Wind whipped the outdoor curtains around, my cat was beside herself, and I was bored to tears.

Next morning was much better- I was up extra-early and out in the driveway getting a coat of brown on the base of the mirror.  The actual mirror part got finished yesterday and now there's some light newspaper outline in brown spray paint on the driveway.  Ooops.  I better finish up all the projects I want to do before we get the pavers put down on it next year.  Anyway, check how it turned out!  I love it!

BEFORE:

AFTER!

It matches the bedroom furniture much better now and I'm thrilled with how it came out.  Oh, and I also learned how to get spray paint off a mirror, should you somehow manage to get it on there even though you taped and newspapered, and taped some more.  Simple put some nail polish on a cotton round and wipe it off.  Easy-peasy!

Mirror- $35

Spray paint- $4

Primer- already owned

TOTAL: $39 for pure awesomeness!!!!

back to training wheels

So the other day I was riding my bicycle and got hit by a bus.

Ok, not really.  (Did you believe me anyway?)

I actually was mugged and then beaten with a baseball bat.

No?

Fine.  I was riding my bike and I fell off.  Happy?

On Monday I was feeling rather sloth-ish from all the cruise indulgence, so Scot and I went to "'da 'Wal" and I got a shiny new hot pink bicycle and snazzy pink helmet so that I could ride with him.  I ended up actually getting a girls size bike (NOT that little kid ones, come on now), but mine is 2" shorter than the women's size.  I have short legs, you see.  So anyway, we get some, he dragged his bike out of the shed, and we had a lovely afternoon riding around town and hopefully burned lots and lots of cruise calories!

So, 3 days later, while he was at work, I decided to take my bike out by myself and do a few laps down one of the main roads and back to the house.  First lap went fine, it only took me about 20 minutes.  I decided to do another and when I was approaching a side street, a van screeched to a halt in converging with me at the stop sign, noticing almost too late I was fixing to pedal in front of her if she rolled through it.  I swerved a bit, crossed my right-of-way, and went on.  

Know something?  Bikes would be a whole lot safer if they had rear-view mirrors.  That way, when a girl would glance back behind her to check for traffic, she wouldn't run herself off the sidewalk, her new bicycle wouldn't skid out from under her, and she wouldn't find herself on the side of the road underneath a set of twisted up handlebars, gears, and tires.

Owwww.

I got up and tried to roll the bike forward to get going again.  Front tire wouldn't move, and the chain had slipped off.  I ached all over and there was no way in hell I wanted to carry this thing all the way back home!  I went up to the nearest house, rang the bell, and was eventually assisted by a little old Puerto Rican man who had a Craftsman tool box.  We straightened up my brake pads (that's why my wheel was stuck) and put the chain back on, and -after muchos apologies on my part- I was on my way.  

I noticed when I got back home and cleaned up that I have 5 new bruises but only a small scrape.  The biggest issue was the shock my muscles took in the tumble.  I went to work the next day hobbling around, unable to sit like a usually do with a leg folded up underneath my butt because of the bruises.  I definitely look like I took a beating!  Anyway, the injuries haven't led me to be getting much sleep because I normally fall asleep on my stomach or side, and both of those positions are just too uncomfortable with my legs all destroyed now so I've been really groggy at work.  Of course, the soreness doesn't help at all.  I was getting ready for work this morning and didn't realize until after I got to the airport that I'd put eye shadow and mascara on my right eye but not my left.  This is how tired I am!  Fantastic.  Washed it off in the ladies room and somehow zombied through the rest of the day.  Thank goodness tomorrow is my last day before my day off, because I need it!  

Epilogue: I am no longer allowed to ride my bike solo.  Fine by me, I scowl at it anytime I go into the garage now anyway.  I'll be back for you, Pinky....juuuuuust you wait.  We're gonna get us an extra-wide trail and then I'll ride you til you BEG me to put you back in the car and take you home.  With supervision, of course.

it's a "because-we-feel-like-it-moon!"

We just got back from our week-long cruise to the western Caribbean on Sunday.  This is our third trip, and although each time is a blast, it's just not nearly long enough!  We'd done this trip before- it was the first one Scot took me on, as a surprise vacation after we'd been dating only like 3 months.  It includes Royal Caribbean's private port in Labadee, Haiti, then Falmouth, Jamaica (or, as the Georgia woman behind us in line called it "Fowl-mowth"), Georgetown, Grand Cayman (we'd move here, but auto fuel is $9 a LITER and we paid $27 for a burger and a beer!), and finally Cozumel, Mexico.

He splurged this time and got us a suite room, which, in cruise ship terms, is the size of your standard hotel room.  However, I was glad to have the balcony space again, and hey- no "shower pod!"  We had a real bathtub instead, and a bathroom that was NOT smaller than our hall closet this time.

We enjoyed lots of champagne and cocktails and amazing food- our Sept 2nd departure was actually the debut sailing for the newly redesigned menu so it was very surprising!  We did a lot of laying around- on the beach, by the pool, on the balcony- as well as enjoyed onshore excursions to visit Good Hope Estate in Jamaica, swimming with dolphins and sting rays in Grand Cayman, and participating in the Amazing Cozumel Race in Mexico.  I looooooooved the Amazing Race- it's like the TV show in that we were all in teams and had to solve for clues and complete tasks at all these different locations around downtown Cozumel, racing around the city by foot.  Scot and I ended up finishing second (we got lost on our way to the final destination!) and it calculated out to be about 4.5 miles we ran around...in flip flops.  Neither one of us could move very much the next day.  But our silver medals were totally worth it.

Now for the awkward part of the trip...which seemed to pop into random conversation with anyone we spoke to EVERY SINGLE DAY.  The elephant in the room, so to speak.  The topic which has never even been brought up at our house, never offered on to the table for possible discussion, never even joked about except by our friends to us...it came in two forms on this trip, no fewer than 6 times- "So, are you guys on your honeymoon?" and "How long have you two been married?"  (also in the form of "Oh you two would be GREAT on the Love And Marriage Game Show! [one of RC's special night audience-participation shows]") 

Um.

"No, just vacation"  and "We're not..."

Now, that's fine...once.  Twice even.  Haha, let's share a laugh.  But every day?  It's a taboo subject in our house, I suppose.  A taboo subject in our entire relationship.  2 and a half years together isn't a long time, is it?  The "L-word" is used all the time, but the "M-word?"  No way.  I'M sure as hell ain't gonna bring it up, I'm too big of a chicken.  He tells me all the time I have nothing to worry about, I mean- I'm not afraid I'm going to get kicked out of the house, we get along swimmingly, and everyone is happy.  I certainly don't feel a burning need to get knocked up (which would require immediate conversation of the "M-word!") so we'll have to come up with a more clever response to these innocent remarks I'm sure we'll hear again next year.

Anyway, tangent over LOL- enjoy some pictures of our trip

nsfw, or "why i don't write porn"

What you are about to read is no "Fifty Shades of Gray."  It's not even decent literature (I state that separately because "Fifty" isn't either.  Obviously.)  No, what you are about to read is my account of a night out with my friend Fedora- a night that involved a "male revue" and SHOULD have involved more sangria.  Lots.  More.  Sangria.

Fedora is my girlfriend who dragged me by my ear out to see the guy-stripper-movie "Magic Mike."  I spent half the movie in embarrassed giggles with my fingers over my eyes.  Because I'm 30 and mature and all.  Since that night out was such a raging success, I apparently was the first person to pop into her head when she was invited out to a bar in Heathrow to see this "first ever amateur male revue."  First ever?  Amateur?  Sure, what WOULDN'T be awesome about that?  So I dolled myself up, thinking hey, it'll be good for a laugh.  I can sit in back, cover my eyes when appropriate, and watch the crowd.  I wore my pink dress I found on clearance for $5 at H&M, pink hoops, pink purse, and spiky heeled sandals.  Add on top my berry lipstick and Barbie was ready to hit the town.

When Fedora and I arrived at the bar, we made our way to the back and I discovered there was no seating...no, all the girls were sort of circled along the wall in a small area, surrounding a chair in the middle of the floor.  The only thing I could think of was how much my feet were going to hurt by the end of the night.  The music started pumping, light started flashing, a woman shouted a few things into a microphone, and Guy #1 took the floor.

Shit, he was like 4 inches shorter than me.  What sort of circus act was this???

The whoops and hollers of all the girls surrounding the floor started immediately; I just covered my face and giggled.  Guy #1 strutted around, eventually stripping off his shirt, teasing the squealing crowd by running his hands into the waist band of his basketball shorts.  (Yes, you read that right.  Basketball shorts.  And I'm thinking, "He's too damn short to play basketball")  He eventually got a cheer from Team Maggie when he did a backflip, but he followed it up by going facedown on the floor and sort of gyrating his hips around...you know, like he was, uh, "doin' it" with the floor.  He pulled a girl out of the crowd, sat her in the chair, and proceeded to give her what I guess would qualify as a lap dance?  Use your imagination.  A couple girls made it into the hot seat that round- some were embarrassed, some were about to rip his underwear off.  Which happened to be grey boxer briefs.  (Insert sarcastic "ooooooo" here).  

Guy #2 came out next, and shortly rid himself of his white t-shirt and performed all sorts of dirty acts with the floor while wearing faded blue jeans.  He made his rounds, girls tucked dollar bills into his waistband, and he came up to me where I was trying to hide behind the standing speaker.

Muthafucka humped my leg! 

 I was backed against the wall so all I could do was stare in shock as he rubbed his crotch over my right knee.  Now, I've been out to clubs before and encountered some very inappropriate people.  But I've either been too drunk to care or, that one time, where I threw my drink at one.  Guy #2 fortunately chose a different victim to pull into the chair to get the too-up-close-and-personal experience.  He ended his show writhing around on the floor again, and I'm pretty sure he did a complete split.  The music continued to pound, girls continued to scream, and someone shoved a fistfull of dollar bills at me.  Fedora shouted, "Come on!" and grabbed my hand, leading me over to him.  She tucked her money into his pants, so I did the same- the crowd was closing in, I couldn't see where I was going, and I tried to not get in the line of fire of a wayward hip thrust.    

The night proceeded pretty much like that, with a break after about an hour.  When the show started back up again, I found a bar chair to sit in because indeed my feet were killing me.  One of the guys came out for an encore and before I knew it, I was in his arms, up in the air, and plunked down into the chair.  I heard the screams, I saw the cameras flash, I heard the music pulsing, I saw Fedora out of the corner of my eyes jumping up and down, and I tried to not completely expose myself while I was being flipped around.  My hands gripped the sides of the chair and I leaned back and this guy knelt over me with his knees on the arms of the chair.  He slid his belt out of his pant loops, snapped it tight, then brought it around the back of my neck, pulling my head down.  I saw more cameras flash and he thrust his junk right into my face.  8 times, it bumped my nose.  I was counting.  He spun around and stuck his butt in my face- all I remember is gripping the arms of the chair so tight my fingers cramped, and I'm pretty sure I had the look of abject horror on my face.  Then I saw the camera go again so I figured I'd try to smile and take a half-decent picture.  Finally, I was relieved of the chair, safe to go back to my barstool.  I wobbled back over and Fedora lept up from her spot and out on to the floor to have her turn.  I tried to pat down my hair and catch my breath.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I think I got my very first lap dance.  And if it never happens again, that will be too soon.

The show ended shortly after that.  The music kept pounding, enticing a few people out to the dance floor for normal operations, but I was exhausted.  I headed home to take a scalding hot shower because, come on, I felt so dirty I couldn't even make it out of the parking lot without squeezing out a half-dollar sized blob of hand sanitizer.  Still, this was one (pretty unnecessary) life experience I can check off the list.  Hopefully the nightmares will stop soon.     

bread, butter, and flying

It's been a busy few weeks at our house, what with company in town and work and all.  It was nice to get out on Monday (even if it was firstly for a dentist appointment!) and go do something fun!  Scot and I went to Wekiva State Park and rented a kayak.  He and I have kayaked a total of 2 times together (Haiti and the Bahamas), but I think we make a pretty good team (Meaning, I wuss out and he paddles from the back.  Kidding.  Sort of.  I try.)  We hit the river and had a fantastic time!  There were the usual Florida afternoon thunderstorms threatening us the whole time but overall we stayed dry.  Too bad, because I had my arm in the 72 degree water up to my elbow it was so hot!  Plenty of shade down the river, though.  We saw some giant birds, some turtles chilling on a log, and also a baby alligator!  Baby, as in, like 4-5 feet long.  Oh, and mosquitoes.  So.  Many.  Mosquitoes.  I didn't realize they joined us for lunchtime, but I counted probably  10-12 bites later that night.  Ugh.

I got back into baking this weekend, too.  The local cupcakery (hm, spellcheck says that isn't a word...but it also says "spellcheck" isn't a word) was closed by the time I got done with work so we decided to bake our own chocolate cupcakes with (at Scot's demand...er...polite request) peanut butter icing.  The cupcake recipe came from my KitchenAid cookbook, but here's the peanut butter icing recipe- AMAZING!!!
1 cup creamy pb
1 cup sifted powdered sugar
5 tbsp room-temp butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup heavy cream
Mix everything but the cream in an electric mixer (do not use the whisk attachment) med-low til smooth.  Add cream, mix on high till fluffy.  Use your boyfriend to help you shovel it into a plastic sandwich bag with a spoon, squeeze out the air and snip the end.  Ice cupcakes (I couldn't help thinking the icing looked like little light brown piles of dog poo but DAYMN it was good!)

I also made my very first batch of French bread this weekend!  We bought spices to make dipping oils with but plumb forgot the bread during Monday's Publix run.  I found a recipe in my BHG cookbook (you know, the red plaid one that's been around forEVER) and, 4 hours later, we had the most delicious French bread ever known to man.  This is mostly thanks to Buttercup, my KitchenAid mixer (what, you don't name your small appliances?)  I used to knead my bread by hand but having a mixer with a dough hook turns me into a much more agreeable chef.
Here's my masterpiece! (I had to snap the photo before we ate anymore...this stuff did not last long at our house- Carbs are a religion here.)

Today was an extraordinarily long day as well- I had to fly one of our customers up to Pensacola, drop him off, and fly back.  The plan was to be back in Orlando by 4pm...I got back a little after 6.  Lots of weather, lots of vectors AROUND weather, lots of free time twiddling my thumbs and screwing around with the avionics on the airplane out of sheer boredom.  Every electronic form of entertainment I had was drained of battery power (that would be a kindle, an ipad, AND my phone) and I even finished the magazine I brought as backup.  It was a total of about 8 hours of flying time there and back (8 hours one-way if you wanted to drive it) and it just reaffirmed WHY I don't want to fly for an airline.  Good god I was bored!  Straight and level, straight and level, blah blah, frequency change, straight and level, straight and level...I seriously was on the verge of tears passing over the Gulf of Mexico out of sheer boredom after all my toys died ("I fly my private airplane all alone and I get so lonely" #firstworldproblems?)  

Anyway, I took some photos of the view from 8,000 feet- enjoy!

 Departing Pensacola, FL

 Fixing to head out over the Gulf

Really neat clouds from the storm I dealt with

Next weekend my bestie friend Sparkles from college is visiting for the weekend and I am BEYOND excited!  (2 days off work in a row!)  Plans are tentative, but I assure you it involves the beach and fruity cocktails.

when the boyfriend's away...i get to use the whole garage

I went to my new favorite antique/resale shop in Orange City last week with Baby Bird and her mom.  Since they're out of school for the summer, we've been able to hang out a bit more- I had them over for lunch before we went and tried getting into Hawaii mode with some marinated grilled chicken and tropical rice.  I made up my own recipe for the rice since I couldn't find one online that incorporated ingredients that I had on-hand.  Easy-peasy recipe at the end of this post!

Anyway, I had a laundry list of items I've been looking for- a luggage rack for my guestroom, a chair to replace the Chair O' Death at the desk (more on that later), an oval standing mirror, and a magazine rack.  I had great success, actually- found everything!  Well, except a luggage rack but I got a low bench instead and figured I can fix it up and it can do double duty.  After we crammed everything into 2 cars and BB's mom headed out for another errand, BB and I drove up to Deland to kill some time.  Wandering around the historic area of downtown, we came across a candy store that was giving away free Italian ice (surprise!  yum!) and a formal/bridal/flower shop that was advertising formal dresses for $25.  Now, normally I'd just pass it up, even though I DO need something to wear on our cruise in September.  But with Baby Bird with me, I was feeling braver so in we went, preparing to be underwhelmed.  

I FOUND THE MOST PERFECT BLUE FORMAL GOWN FOR $25, YA'LL!!!!!

It was great to have BB there for a second opinion and I joyfully left with my purchase.  Pics to follow once we go on vacation!

Anyhoo, the reason I was getting in quality chick time is that Scot was working in Punta Gorda (Southwest FL) for the week.  I decided that, since his car was gone, I could spread out all my new finds and get to work in the garage.  

The luggage bench was first- it was an ugly blonde pine color, but check out the after!

BB's mother let me use her sewing machine (which I hadn't touched I think since 7th grade HomeEc class) to make the cushion.  I sanded (with the electric sander!), primed, filled in the screw holes with spackle, and painted it from the same can of white I bought for the hutch.  Love it! 

And now the chair- Everyone who sits in the office desk chair we have in the game room leans back and the whole thing damn near tips over.  It'll send your heart into your throat for sure and, rather than risk a broken neck, I decided to replace it.  Again, I sanded, spackled, primed, painted and recovered the chair I bought at the antique store.  BB picked out the perfect fabric to cover the seat and, over the course of the week Scot was gone, I pain-stakingly fixed it up.  Take a look!

 Before- ugly!

 After- super awesome!

Close-up of the fabric- it's so...Me!

Here's the breakdown for both projects-

Bench: $11

Fabric: $6

Paint/brushes: free (already owned)

Spackle/sandpaper: free (already owned)

Total for luggage bench: $17!

Chair: $4 (I'm not kidding!!!)

Spackle/sandpaper/paint/brushes: free (already owned)

Fabric $6

New foam pad: $9

Total: $19!

Sidebar- this does not include the staple gun- technically I found one in the garage and could not figure out how to use it, load it, or what size staples it took (I guess I still need him lol) so I bought a new one with instructions included which set me back about $15.  I'm still annoyed about that.  Overall, I'm very pleased with my week's progress.  The magazine rack i bought was kind of a brass, swirly design and ugly as sin, so I painted it the same glossy purple I used on my light-globe flower vase a month or so ago.  

The biggest project- the chandelier over the dining table is still sitting there, taunting me.  When I get brave enough to take all the crystals off of it and paint it, I'll post about that.  If I survive.  

Anyway, just got a text from Scot saying he's 30 minutes out and can't wait to get home- it's been a rough week down in PGD.  Maybe I'll greet him in my new $25 princess dress :)

nail polish? nah, i paint my nails with Behr Premium

On a whim while we were in Tennessee last fall for my birthday, I decided to start collecting pottery.  I suppose I was feeling especially country, what with all the fall leaves and Dollywood and hiking and all.  Anyway, I fell in love with Pigeon River Pottery and purchased a couple pieces that spoke to me (or rather, screamed my name and begged me to take them home.)  I've obtained a few more pieces since then, for Christmas and in Key Largo, all varying shades of blue and gray.  It feels very grown-up and turned out to be the stress of my latest DIY project.  So, here we go-

I decided I needed a corner hutch to display my pottery pieces in, so I started hunting.  It took me about 2 months of frequenting every Goodwill, ReStore, Salvation Army, and thrift store I came across before I found what I was looking for, at a price I could handle.  I discovered my new favorite shop- an antiques dealership in Orange City.  The place is probably 4x the size of our house and is filled with treasures!  For $104, I picked up a solid pine hutch and painted and glazed it.

I wiped it down with wet rags, took the doors off, and lightly sanded it.  I chose 2 colors- a white and a yellow paint/primer in one.  Still, I kid you not, they both took like 6 coats.  I painted on that thing for 3 days.  Admittedly, it was on days I was working, so I'd get home and do a couple coats, let it dry til the next day, and repeat.  After the paint was dry, I mixed my good ol' brown glaze that I've used on the red chairs and the garage sale cabinet and toned it down a bit.  I found some really cute little yellow glass knobs at World Market, reattached the doors with new hinges, and TA-DA!
Here's the breakdown-
Hutch- $104
Paint/Brushes- $20
Knobs- $5
Hinges- $6
Glaze- already owned (free!)
Grand Total- $135 (not too shabby!)

 BEFORE

AFTER!

finally, by some miracle...

It's been a while since the last post (in which I whined about the non-progress of the pool) but GUESS WHAT???  It's finished!  I have some lovely before and after pics to share-

So classy!  So grown-up!

We (well, the fence people) also put up that white fence you see outside the pool screen.  It's like our own mini-resort now and I just love it!  We hosted around 15 friends for a pool party last week and it ended up raining all day because Tropical Storm Debby decided to blow through.  I suppose it turned into a hurricane party of sorts, but we still got in that pool, rain and everything!  Overall, All Seasons Pools did a great job on  the remodel, even if it did take freakin' forever (about 2 and a half months).  I'm just happy to finally be able to park it on the swing with some new, overstuffed pillows and just enjoy it all.   

 

(Gratuitous cat-lady pic...sure, I chose the color palate to match my animal)

the waiting pool

I mentioned a couple posts ago that Scot turned 31 in April and we went to Key Largo.  Well, on that 31st birthday, he bought himself a new swimming pool.  Well, sort of.  We'd been talking about renovating the pool and back deck for a while, and we finally settled on All Seasons Pools to do the job.  We (meaning, I) picked out the new waterline tile, new pavers for the deck, and the new interior pebble finish.  Scot dropped the first check off on April 4th, and 2 weeks later, the pool was drained and the new tile was up.  15 business days, they said.  It'll be done.  One month later, and here we sit with a big empty hole in the ground with some nice tile on it!
Now, I know they're busy and all but the thing I miss the most is actually using the back porch.  We had to remove the swing and all the chairs and store them (after applying fresh coats of spray paint, of course!) so the only thing out there is the cat and the garden hose.  I loved sitting on the swing on a cool evening after the thunderstorms passed through.  Now I'm kinda stuck inside.  I could utilize the new bench on the front porch I guess, but I'm in my ratty pajama pants now and a proper southern lady just doesn't sit on her front porch in her pajamas.
Anyway, back to the pool crisis...the new pavers FINALLY showed up on Tuesday but...BUT the coping (the part that actually goes around the pool, like an outline) was the wrong style.  Not like, ugly-wrong style, but cover-up-half-the-tile-we-had-put-in-wrong style.  Turns out the manufacturer of the pavers does not even MAKE the style we ordered for our renovation, so they just changed the order and sent us something else and did not confirm with the pool company.
So now, we have an empty hole in the ground in the back yard and 10 pallets of stone pavers sitting in the front yard.  Klassy.
The paver crisis has yet to be resolved.  It's looking like an additional 3 weeks of waiting if we have to order all new stones to get the proper look.  What I'm most upset about is that, silly me, I thought that if we gave All Seasons a check the first week of April that we'd have a renovated pool by the end of May.  I was planning to have a Memorial Day BBQ/pool party like we did last year but the 1/2 inch of water sitting in the deep end from the rain that just passed isn't going to fly as a fun time.
Although, the cat has gotten pretty used to jumping in, wandering around, and jumping out of the empty pool.  God I hope I'm home when she tries that after it's finished and filled up.  If only for the laugh.
Here's a look at the lovely view from the kitchen at the moment.  I'm kinda getting tired of looking at it.

the latest addition

As we were discussing plans last week for our next "Monday of Projects," Scot decided that he'd tackle a simple one like, oh, painting the garage.  I figured I'd pretend to help a little on that one, but my focus sat on The Cabinet.  The Cabinet has been sitting in the garage for maybe 2 months now-I saw it in a garage sale down the street while on a run so, after I did my laps around the block, I swung by as the guy was closing up shop and offered him $5 for it.  The Cabinet was a hell of a lot heavier than I thought it would be (turns out it was real wood) but I managed to lug it 4 houses down to home.  I bought it mainly because of how freaking UGLY is was, thinking surely I could give it a new life.

Anyway, Scot bought some cabinets to replace the teetering, sagging shelving in the garage and built and installed them by about noon on Monday.  I did help a little, especially when he got to the painting part.  The garage looks so fresh and clean-I'm actually impressed we got so much done in one day.  I mean, we spent 3 months renovating each bathroom and now we've completed 2 big projects in 2 weekends!  Big accomplishment for sure!

As for The Cabinet, it got its makeover from me between the shifts I was helping out in the garage.  I wiped it down and cleaned it up and actually used paint stripper and a real electric sander to clean off and smooth out the top.  The whole project took me about 8 hours to complete but here's what I did:

-Sanded down the rough patches and dirt that just wouldn't come off-this thing had 2 coats of paint on it from before
-Doors removed, spray-painted main cabinet Heritage Red, 3 coats.
-Sprayed a light coat of the Hammered Dark Brown spray paint we bought for the back porch swing (that was a whole 'nother project!) on the screen fronts of the cabinet doors
-Used olive paint from the can we used on the house exterior to paint the doors and the inside of the cabinet.
- Used Minwax to stain the top of The Cabinet, wiped it down 20 minutes later, and sprayed it with a clear gloss coat
-Mixed up glaze I used from the Cheery Cherry Chairies and glazed the cabinet and doors.
-Replaced knobs and hinges.
Price Breakdown: Cabinet... $5
                            Heritage Red paint... $4
                            Hammered Dark Brown paint...already owned
                            Gingko Tree Exterior Latex...already owned
                            Minwax...already owned
                            Glaze and paint mix...already owned
                            Knobs and hinges...$10
TOTAL: $19 for a beautiful piece of furniture!

 BEFORE

AFTER!

OH!  And a detail on the purple vase there- it was an old frosted while light globe cover from the hallway light!  I spray painted it a glossy purple and I think it looks awesome.

key lime dream

Scot turned 31 earlier this month (I know, I'm next, shut up) so I surprised him with a weekend down in Key Largo.  I used my Trip Advisor app on my Kindle to plan the whole thing, from where to stay to where to eat and what to do.  He still insisted on driving-there were doubts as to whether or not my car would make the trip and back alive- so I just plugged the hotel into the GPS and we were off.  6.5 hours later, after an unintentional scenic route through Miami (stupid construction!) we made it.

The first evening of our stay, I'd booked us a sunset sailing trip on a pirate ship.  Turns out, no one else had booked that evening so we got a private cruise for ourselves!  We got to help hoist the sails and steer the boat and maneuver all the sails and lines around-it was so cool!  It was interesting to get back in to "learning mode" because learning to sail a boat is what I think about when I get a little burnt out on flight instructing-when I think about how my students know just as much about flying as I do about boating, it reminds me to take care in my instruction and explain everything simply and clearly.

As the sun set, we got to blow the conch shell (pronounced KONK).  Traditionally, you blow it to signify the end of the day and to drive away any bad spirits, similar to the way you'd blow a trumpet.  It sounds a lot like a boat horn, low and loud.  Youtube it sometime, it's pretty cool.

The next day, we set out for some snorkeling.  At the same dock our boat left from, the actual boat used in the move "The African Queen" was being kept and refurbished.  I had to grab some pictures, because I adore that movie, starring Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart.  The African Queen herself looked amazing- I remembered that pesky boiler that Charlie Allnutt fought with the whole way through the movie, the tiller that Rose handled to steer them through the rapids and falls, and the newly replaced canopy, no longer tattered but a pretty red stripe.  I was in heaven!

Snorkeling was fun, of course.  The water was a chilly 77 degrees but we managed to hit 3 sites along America's only coral barrier reef.  We were 10 miles off shore and saw tons of amazing tropical fish and beautiful corals.  We also saw what's known as the "Christ of the Abyss"-a Jesus statue about 20 feet underwater, intentionally sunk for your diving pleasure.  So cool!  We got seriously sunburned on the hour-long ride back to shore because we, uh, kinda forgot about the need to reapply sunscreen after swimming in the ocean.  My legs are burnt so bad I can't even bend them to put socks on.  It's pathetic.

Upon arriving back at the hotel, all I wanted was a shower to get all the saltwater off.  Not happening, since the water pressure was gone!  Apparently the hotel was working on the pipes so we just went down to the pool to trade seawater for chlorine.  By the time we got back, water pressure was back up and we were able to get ready for dinner.

After a delicious meal followed by the best key lime pie EVER at Mrs. Mac's, we headed to a bar called the Pilot House, which has a glass floor.  You can totally see the water below and even feed the fish through a hole in the floor!  I had a key lime martini which was basically pie in a glass.  Freakin' awesome ya'll.
Sad to say we had to leave the next morning but we managed to purchase some key lime chocolate and a baby key lime tree on our way out of town.  I officially have a new favorite vacation spot, though.  And soon I'll have the homemade pie to take me back...at least for a brain-cation when I need it!  Enjoy some pics :)

 The African Queen!

 Sunset sailing

 The sign reads "Watch for falling coconuts"

 Feeding the fish at the Pilot House.  They eat oatmeal

 Snorkel friends

   Chillin' with Jesus