i blame bobby flay if my ass gets huge

Oh, Food Network, how I love thee and hate thee at the same time!

It's Chocolate Week, if you haven't heard (the foodie equivalent of Shark Week on Discovery Channel).  Most of the shows are centered around my second drug of choice (You know my first.  Oh you don't?  Uh, what blog are you reading, again?)  Anyway, my man Bobby has this show "Throwdown With Bobby Flay" where he challenges cooks who are really good at cooking pretty much just one thing, to see who can win over tasters more.  Tonight, it was 2 women making huge-ass 5 ounce chocolate chip walnut cookies vs Bobby and his thin and crispy chocolate chip cookies.  It all looked good, my mouth was watering, I was annoyed because Scot had eaten the last of the bag of Hershey's chocolate chips I'd hidden behind the flour jar on the counter (note to self, find a better hiding spot), and I was really craving dessert.  Alls I had for dinner was some leftover Velveeta shells and cheese and a slice of peanut buttered bread and I needed something sweet to tell the tastebuds "Aight, that's enough, eatin' time's over."  

I'd seen a recipe online before for a 2-cookie chocolate chip cookie recipe.  Like, that's all it makes, a perfect portion.  So I found one and decided to double it because I never eat JUST 2 cookies.  Well ya'll, doubling this recipe made 6 of the biggest damn cookies I'd ever seen in my life.  I couldn't imagine eating 2 of the regular recipe, holy crap!  Take a look...

(Imagine the following in Paula Deen's voice)  

That is a reg-u-lay-tion- size cooling rack, ya'll.  

Butter.

Mayn-aise

Ooooo don't that look goooooood son!

Ahem.

(Again, Food Network, you haunt my dreams!)

But for realz, yo, look at the size of those cookies!  I admit by the time I took the pic I'd, uh, eaten one already, but you can see the normal-sized bite I took out of the right one there.  I only ate 2, and that was a struggle but hoo boy they were delicious!  Stick with the regular recipe, which I have provided below, for the perfect couple servings of normal-sized cookies.  

Makes 2 of the biggest damn cookies you ever saw, or 4 or 5 normal-sized ones  

2 Tbsp butter

2 packed Tbsp brown sugar

1 Tbsp white sugar

pinch kosher salt

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg yolk

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 cup flour

3 Tbsp chocolate chips (I cut up Baker's squares, like I said, Scot at the chips)

Oven to 350

In a small glass bowl, melt butter til soft

Stir in sugars, salt, vanilla with a regular spoon

Add egg yolk and stir

Add baking soda and flour and stir

Add chips

Recipe says to make only 2 cookie dough balls and put them on the baking sheet lined with parchment.  I DARE you.  Then show me a picture of what they look like when they're done.  

I baked mine for about 12 minutes- make sure they're spread far apart because these things get HUGE.  Cool on a rack.  

Busy weekend ahead- it's time again for Mardi Gras so I've gotta get to cooking all my Louisiana food.  Which I haven't even remotely started shopping or prepping for yet.  Bought another bottle of Rose from World Market today so that should help with the impending stress ;)

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

  

a quick note on wine

I hate red wine.

There, I said it.

I guess what I don't like about it is that it all tastes the same to me, kind of like beer (also not a fan.)  White wine has a light, crisp, taste which appeals to me and red has an oak-y, spicy, and (weirdly out of place) chocolate-y taste, but not in a good way.  Even when I chill it for forever in the fridge- which I know is proper red wine treatment, more about that in a second- it's still bleh. The only time I'll tolerate it is when it's made into sangria.  

Back in August when Sunnykef came to visit, we went up to St. Augustine and visited the San Sebastian winery, which was a longer-than-expected walk from historic downtown.  It wasn't the real winery because there was no vineyard, just an empty lot next door with overgrown weeds and broken glass.  Sketchy.  Anyway, I think it's where they just made the wine with grapes brought in, we didn't stay for the tour but sort of latched on to the tasting group at the end.  And that's where I found that there IS a red wine out there for me!  It's called Vintner's Red and it's sweet and not at all like any other red wine I've ever had.  It's not like sangria and it's not like fruit juice (er, I mean, Arbor Mist) but it's just really good!

So I went home and promptly forgot about it.

Now here's an interesting thing I did learn about chilling wine though- the general rule that people know is that red wine should be served "room temperature."  That temperature just happens to mean 55* Fahrenheit!  The reason?  "Room temperature" refers to the temperature of the wine cellar!  Who knew?  So, when you're ready to crack open that bottle of red, pop it in the fridge for a half hour and THEN it'll be ready.  

Yesterday, Scot and I were in Publix planning dinner- Fedora was coming up and we were going to do steaks and taters and stuff- and I saw a bottle of San Sebastian Vintner's Red for $10 so I picked it up.  It was just as delicious as I remembered, we ended up putting a couple ice cubes in our glasses anyway, but Fedora and I drank that whole bottle.  I feel ok about it though because red wine has anti-oxidants and is supposed to be good for you right?  I can now add that to my health regimen.  My pollen allergies have been kicking my ass this week so I even felt good about washing down a Claritin with my glass of red.

Oh, that's not a good idea?  Riiiight, the whole "don't drink alcohol with meds" thing.  Coulda fooled me, I felt great!  Come fall, when the Epcot Food and Wine festival is back, I'm gonna tear it up.  All other reds excluded, I can officially say-

I love red wine.

But I'm all out so I'm gonna go crack open the bottle of strawberry Riesling in the fridge.  And it's time for another Claritin...

  

confessions of a shop-a-phobic and other midnight ramblings

Hope everyone had a lovely holiday- I went home to Louisiana and it was cold as hell.

Relatively speaking of course... I've adapted to Florida quite well.  No one ever threw their back out shoveling sunshine, if you know what I mean.

Whenever I go back (lately it's been once a year) my mom always takes me shopping.  I think it's because I never give her a Christmas list.  We hit up the pre-Christmas sales and I think I almost had a mental breakdown in the dressing room of the Loft because I couldn't decide whether or not I liked a black and gray cardigan with the faintest of cheetah prints.  I wanted to like it (because, seriously who wouldn't??) but I think I literally sat behind that locked door for 15 minutes while my mom tried to convince me from the other side how cute it was and how she'd get it for me.  Reluctantly, I let her, knowing full well I wasn't happy with it.  Which is dumb because it was just a stupid cardigan.  Which makes me think there might be some underlying issues about myself that I can't pinpoint because I felt utterly depressed walking out of there with that little tissue-paper filled bag.

And then we went to the White House Black Market, where I never shop because I can't afford it and I live 6 days a week in khakis and polo shirts anyway.  Which is super lame but very practical.  Lord help me if I dripped oil or avgas on a $60 shirt.  JCPenney special all the way, baby!

I found my groove at WHBM and finally succumbed to the fact that half my closet is composed of black and white clothes and I should just quit trying and give up on color, period.  Let's just say that the little cheetah print cardigan is returning from whence it came.  My friend Sunnykef gave me some absolutely delicious earrings for Christmas too and I'm wearing them every chance I get.  Seriously, look at these things!  

I'd never pick them out for myself, but if they didn't weight about 3 lbs apiece I'd wear them to work out in, too.  And to work, if my headset would fit over them.  But any other time- bring it!  Housework?  Sure, these earrings make swiffering and cleaning the toilet much more fun!  (Actually, I don't clean the toilet, Scot does... but I'm not letting him wear my earrings.  I'd have to pierce his ears to do that and I hate blood and needles, and even if we did get that far I wouldn't be able to even laugh at him wearing them because I'd be passed the efff out on the bathroom floor.  Assuming the piercing takes place in the bathroom.  Normally I don't pass out on the bathroom floor for other circumstances.  Except last year's Mardi Gras party, but you'll have to check with him about that because I don't remember...good god MAKE ME STOP TALKING).

Anyway.

I'm damn lucky to have a guy who takes toilet duty.  AND cat litter box duty.  Heh heh.  Dooty.

Anyway.

I shouldn't blog in the middle of the night.

Now that my train of thought has left the station without me...I think what I was trying to say is that I got some kick-ass ear bling.  Alrighty then.  I also got 2 decorative wine stoppers, which must mean my family thinks I drink a lot.  I say, define "a lot!"  

Oh, that reminds me, I have a new found obsession with Rose (not, ROSE rose, but "Rose-AY"- like the sparkling wine?  I don't know how to type accents, sue me.)  I must purchase some for New Years, without the repeat of the consequences of downing a whole bottle of champagne (see "Christmas Party Oh-Twelve" aka, the post before this.)   It's probably a million dollars a bottle though- one glass cost me 12 bucks when Sunnykef and I went out over Christmas.  But it's bubbly and pink (one might call it rose-colored!) and delicious.  

Scot's stuck in Punta Gorda tonight being a hero and all and fixing an airplane so I'm getting in some quality time with you fine folks.  He got us annual passes to Walt Disney World for Christmas-which I am totally over the moon about, remember what I said about the end of the world last post?  Toldja.  But I'm super excited and am trying to decide to take him to Epcot first or MGM studios (Or Hollywood studios, whatever.  It'll always be MGM to me!)  I don't know if Tower of Terror is a good kickoff to his Disney indoctrination though.  We'll see.  

Have a fun and safe Happy New Year, and don't blow yourself up! (it's the new "Don't shoot your eye out," it'll catch on, wait and see)       

have yourself a tacky little christmas...

The other night I threw what was probably my most complex party yet-at least when it came to the variety of food.  My friend Jenn and I collaborated to host an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party and oh lord did our friends come up with some amazing creations!  

This year I was informed that when I go back to Louisiana for Christmas that it won't be the normal routine that I'm used to.  Usually, on Christmas eve, my aunt and uncle have a big party at their house and I get to visit with everyone and see all my cousins.  On Christmas day, everyone meets at my grandparents' house for turkey and dressing and opening presents.  It's been that way as long as I can remember but this year there's a shake-up.  2 of my out-of-town cousins aren't even coming in so the Christmas eve party?  Cancelled.  The turkey and dressing on Christmas day?  Exchanged for a brisket.  And the presents?  Now it's going to be (sort of a?) Pirate Gift Exchange thing.  Which reminds me I have to go find a $25 or under gift for a girl.  No one in particular, because we don't know who gets it.  Yeah, makes me really want to put thought in to this project (NOT!  Yeah, you hear the grumpy teenager in me coming out, too dontcha?)  Anyhoo, since my holiday is being turned topsy-turvey, (except the new tradition I started with Kelly last year- pre-church margaritas at Cantina Laredo.  Klassy, I know) I wanted to have as many friends as I could over for some good get-together time.  Here was my menu-

Deep-fried cajun turkey (god bless friends who own a bbq joint!)
Rolls and homemade cranberry sauce to make that turkey into mini sammiches
Succotash
Pepper Jack grits-stuffed sweet bell peppers
Spicy marinated shrimp
Sausage puffs (these are always a hit!)
Rotel dip
Homemade spinach artichoke dip
Homemade saltine oyster crackers (found the recipe on Pintrest and I don't care if I never eat anything else in my life- these were awesome!)
Fruit and veggie platters
Cherry bourbon pecan balls
Raspberry pound cake balls
A tri-color bundt cake in xmas colors (cute and simple!)
Red velvet peppermint swirl brownies
Key lime shortbread cookies
Nutella sea salt fudge (as delicious as it sounds!)
Homemade peanut brittle
Various little candies and pretzels I bought to spread around

I'm trying to remember it all- my friend Fedora ('memba her from the male stripper episode?) and I drank 2 bottles of champagne together ($5 a bottle Verdi Spumanti- it's delicious!!!)  

I almost feel like Christmas is over already...the party is done and I'm back to work.  The only thing reminding me is that we have presents under the tree (which my freaking cat will NOT stop eating.  Seriously, she's already ingested and re-deposited some curly ribbon in a slobbery mess on the bedroom floor).  A selection of my friends keep telling me there's a sparkly ring waiting for me under that tree, which I say is a load of crap lol.  Tell you what, the odds of that happening are the same as the odds of the world ending tomorrow (oh Mayans, ya'll and ya'll's silly calendar!) so hey if it does end no one will know what's under my tree anyway.  The plan Sunday is- presents, then brunch, then pack because we both have flights to catch...me to Louisiana and him to Pittsburgh.  I plan on gorging myself with crawfish etoufee and meat pies (and spell check just tried to change "crawfish" to "crayfish"...uh hellz no!) and hopefully fit in some visiting time with the few relatives that WILL be around town.  I leave you with a Merry Christmas if that's your thing (if it's not, Happy Thursday), and some sweater photos-   

  We dressed the cat up,and note the Christmas equivalent of the tuxedo shirt

 Me and Baby Bird- of course she did feathers!

Co-host Jenn and her hubby with his awesome homemade sweater

silence is golden, but so is snot

Isn't that a disgusting title?  Ok, snot's not (s'not?) exactly golden in color but you get the idea.  So, yeah I'm home sick (lost my voice and developed a co-dependent relationship with the box of Kleenex) and now I'm stuck hanging out with Rachel Ray and Kathie Lee and Hoda.  Which might make me feel worse, come to think about it...  Anyhoo, the extra time off of work gives me a chance to catch up on everything I've been putting off  liiiiiike...posting some fantabulous Hawaii pictures!

Scot took me to Waikiki as a surprise for my birthday this year- I did not realize where we were going til we got to the gate in our connecting city of Salt Lake.  He's devilishly good at keeping secrets!  We spent a week hanging at the beach, driving all over the island of O'ahu in our convertible, and indulging in water activities and culture.  It was an amazing trip and I highly recommend going, only make sure you budget twice what you normally would for food.  Everything was so expensive, holy crap rarely did we eat anywhere that didn't fall between $15-$20 a person, before drinks.  I've posted a few of my favorite pictures below-

Hawaii has the absolute BEST sunsets!!!

(Okay the people on The Today Show just started talking about Octomom.  If I don't get well soon I might go out back and drown myself in the pool.)

Oh, and I'm supposed to run the Turkey 5K in 2 days, and cook Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night.  If I'm still alive after that, I've got another update on deck.  Stay tuned.

tropical depression maggie

I'm pretty good at finishing any project I start.  Actually, I'm very good.  I'm so good that I get impatient if I can't do everything RIGHTNOW.  Waiting for paint to dry so I can move on the the next step is tedious.

Scot has been in Las Vegas again for work for the past 2.5 weeks and I got bored.  So I decided to redecorate.  Well, sort of.  I didn't have any ideas about what exactly I wanted to do, so I took his (very roomy when the seats are folded down) vehicle over to the Antique Store Of Fabulousness to browse.  I really don't remember what it was I had in mind that I was kinda-sorta looking for, but I found a nasty looking headboard in the back of a pile at the back of the store.  It was a yellow-y, multi-textured mix of fake wood, rattan, and bamboo and it was calling me desperately for help.  So I took it home and made it beautiful!  More on that in a second.

With ideas for my new headboard (which would find a new home in guest room #2) swirling around in my head, I sighed in sadness staring at the (America's Next Top Model reference coming up!) sheer drecktitude that was what we'd taken to calling "the Maggie Room" because it housed the random bits of furniture I brought with me when I moved in.  "The Maggie Room," at best, could be called the "Tropical Depression Room."  Old palm tree bedspread, random vintage-y tropical posters (which I heart very much), and a sad looking paper mache parrot my grandparents brought back from Acapulco like 20 years ago.  His name is Pablo and after I dusted him off and hung him back up we're both much happier.

I started off with the headboard and over the next week I'd replaced the bedspread, cleaned out the junk, and fashioned a curtain to hide the shelves of the "Random Bookshelf Of Shame" which held anything that I couldn't bear to part with but couldn't find a home for either.

Here's the run down for the headboard- The only place I had to paint it was if I leaned it against the rickety fence surrounding my garden.  Keeping careful not to spray paint my bell peppers, I covered it with a coat of primer, followed an hour or so later by several coats of shiny black paint.  It was simple and striking.  And for some weird reason the black paint dusted off right on my hands whenever I touched it the next evening.  I really don't know why this happened (if you know, please enlighten me) but I found a can of clear gloss enamel from when I did Chandy ('memba her???) so a couple coats of that sealed it up.  Because this is a sort-of surprise for Scot, I wanted to finish it up before he gets home tomorrow but there was no way in this lifetime I could (or wanted to bother with) attach the headboard to the frame by myself.  So I took some of the pavers we had left over from when the guys did the porch and stacked them behind the frame to sit the headboard on.  It's kind of precariously perched back there but since no one sleeps in that bed anyway I think it's okay.  BTW, consider yourself warned and if you come visit me you are responsible for telling me to tell Scot to put your bed together so you don't wind up with a concussion in the middle of the night.  I'm good at delegating like that, I just need a reminder.

Room Makeover:
Headboard: $35
Primer/Paint: $8
New Bedspread: $42
Fabric and tension rods for bookshelf: $9
TOTAL for NEW guest room: $94!  Not bad if I say so myself.  

Enjoy :)

TROPICAL DEPRESSION BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE- SHELVES OF SHAME

AFTER (I even painted the coral sculpture on top of the bookshelf red!)

BEFORE- WHAT IS THIS SPACE???

AFTER- OH IT'S AN OFFICE/GUEST ROOM!

this is Pablo

HEADBOARD BEFORE

HEADBOARD AFTER!

mirror mirror, in the driveway

Believe it or not, there's still a trace of a bruise on my leg from that stupid bike incident (scroll back and check the date...yeah, it's been that long.)  Anyway, I'll be off the bicycle for a couple weeks because Scot is out of town- out in Las Vegas for work in Airbus school- and I refuse to ride again unless he's available to come rescue me when I wipe out again.  The last time he was gone for this long, I took over the garage and rehabbed some furniture- a chair, a bench, and a magazine rack.  This time, I decided to tackle the oval standing mirror I bought at the antique shop a few months back.

I checked the ever-growing paint supply cabinet and was glad to see we had a couple cans of primer still hanging around.  I swung by Home Depot (also known as "Second- Home" Depot) for a can of glossy brown spray paint, hoping just 1 would get the job done.  I mean, there's not much to this mirror.

The trickiest part was covering the mirror  with tape and newspaper- I trimmed some paper into an oval shape and stuck blue painter's tape over every reflective part that was still showing.  I unscrewed the mirror from the base, got some newspaper on the driveway and went to work with the primer on Monday afternoon.

Do you know what happens in Florida in the afternoon?

Yeah, it rains.

No sooner had I finished priming, the skies opened up and armageddon hit.  I scrambled to heft up my pieces and get them back into the garage, fortunately the primer dried pretty fast so it wasn't much of a setback.  It poured down the rest of the day, into the night.  Thunder, lightning, it was ridiculous.  Not just any old afternoon storm, this lasted forever and the pool even started filling to the top.  Wind whipped the outdoor curtains around, my cat was beside herself, and I was bored to tears.

Next morning was much better- I was up extra-early and out in the driveway getting a coat of brown on the base of the mirror.  The actual mirror part got finished yesterday and now there's some light newspaper outline in brown spray paint on the driveway.  Ooops.  I better finish up all the projects I want to do before we get the pavers put down on it next year.  Anyway, check how it turned out!  I love it!

BEFORE:

AFTER!

It matches the bedroom furniture much better now and I'm thrilled with how it came out.  Oh, and I also learned how to get spray paint off a mirror, should you somehow manage to get it on there even though you taped and newspapered, and taped some more.  Simple put some nail polish on a cotton round and wipe it off.  Easy-peasy!

Mirror- $35

Spray paint- $4

Primer- already owned

TOTAL: $39 for pure awesomeness!!!!