"felis thugus", or... "the cat rap"

I discovered something else new that happened when I turned 30 today- I developed the ability to spit out horrible Cat Poetry.  Don’t think I’m bragging, but get a load of this jewel of verbal diarrhea that I (sort of) rapped while watching the cat watch me on the other side of the shower door tonight…

“Kitty sittin pretty on all the different rugs (bath rugs)

Kitty don’t want none of mama’s kitty hugs

Counter top wet with the water kitty drunk

Watch out looks like kitty getting crunk”

Seriously???  Even I had to shut up and ask myself when the last time was that I actually HEARD the word “crunk.”  Freshman year of college, I think, and it didn’t make sense then either.  Let it also be known that during this embarrassing display of my (insert name of your least favorite female rapper here) impression, “Kitty” gave me a blank, wide-eyed stare and then promptly ran out of the bathroom.  Probably to go bleach her own brain.  Not that I blame her. 

Yeah, and by the way, by the time I finished documenting this humiliating piece of information for ya'll, I had the song below stuck in my head.  And now so do you.  There.  Ha.